FAMILY CONSTELLATIONS ∞ ORDER OF LOVE
Family constellations or order of love is one of the traditional methods of medicine, which was recognized by the Republic of Serbia Health Ministry (Službeni glasnik Republike Srbije, br.119 December 14th, 2007).
Family constellations – Order of love was developed in the beginning of 1980s by Bert Hellinger, a German psychotherapist, philosopher, theologian , and pedagogue. He adopted this method to the modern approach by using influences of primal therapy, transactional analysis, hypnotherapy, Gestalt psychology, and various forms of group therapy. Order of love is successfully applied on all continents, and it is also known by the names of “Family Constellations”,„Familienaufstellung“, „Constellation Work“ or „Hellinger-Work“.
Family constellations – Order of love is a phenomenological method and its healing effectiveness exceeds classical therapeutic approach. It includes that which is unknown, the transpersonal, as well as internal realms of the soul entangled with family relationships external environment. This method goes beyond borders of personal and allows for insights into transgenerational dynamics and their effect on an individual. Awareness of those dynamics through collective memory that connects us with the transpersonal, provides us with insights into connections and meaning of relationships, which furthermore leads to improvement, resolution, and finally- healing. In the constellation work, the focus point is the feeling participants experience when they are selected to represent members of the client’s (family) system. The basic human ability to become familiar with others on the physical and sensation level, without any previous cognitive information whatsoever.
To be a “medium” for experiences of others is an old human ability and it is one of the oldest “knowings” of humanity. We see that in some of the modern applications of therapy, such as concepts of transfer and counter-transfer in psychoanalysis.
In order of love, this ability lives up to its fullest. Certain family constellation order represents the “field of knowledge”, the energetic state of a (family) system, with incredible healing potential. With its experiential context from the spiritual energetically-informational field, this modality confirms and adds to some natural scientific concepts such as Rupert Sheldrake’s Morphic Resonance and Morphic Field.
The work in the order of love’s field is oriented towards resolution and it succumbs to natural order and laws that exist within a family or any other system; consequently, it succumbs to the factual categories, regardless of our modern codex. Violation of those laws could lead to difficult suffering and illnesses, and its reconciliation- to healing. When we surrender to those natural laws and energetic processes in service of life, we reach love that becomes the definitive and sustainable strength of a family.
One of those laws includes the right of all the members of a family (system) to belong to that system, regardless of the moral norms. There is also the undeniable right to ones’ own destiny, own suffering and guilt. For instance, children cannot carry their parents’ burdens; they must let their parents carry their burdens with dignity. Only then can children live their lives freely and thrive. Including ancestors and those family members who passed away, as well as those that energetically connected to the family through war or some other way, leads to reconciliation and gaining new strength for those who are living.
Working in the order of love’s field requires high level of knowledge and qualification, along with familiarity with recognized psychotherapeutic methods. At the same time, the practitioner of order of love must be ready to relinquish the need to control the situation in order to be able to work “without intentions or fear”, as Bert Hellinger says.
“As we strive to find a good place in life, we get only a small insight into what it actually means to follow the path of the Grand Soul. On that path, there is no Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam, Judaism, Catholicism, Orthodox Cristianity, or any other religious system. On that path, universal love rules.” According to Bear Heart, “If we want to be healthy, we must listen to our soul! After all, we are here because we cannot escape ourselves. A person will be lonely for as long as they cannot find themselves in the eyes and hearts of those who surround them. For as long as they don’t allow those around them to see deeply into their soul, a person will not realize the real value of peace and certainty. For as long as they live in fear of being found out, a person will not reach self-realization-they will be alone”.